Wait, now explain this one..

youngxpectations:

His phone call came from Maryland???

6 days…

Is when you will be home.

6 days until I finally get to see you.

It will be a bitter sweet reunion. After all that we have went through during this deployment it’s hard to finally see the end of all of this.

I hope that we can work things out. Please don’t screw up the second chance I am giving you.

I love you, and always will regardless of what is going on between us. I am happy you will finally be home.

Suuuupppppppeerrrrrrrr fucking stressed

Two papers to write by 1pm. :[

Thanks lovely. I just really HATE tapers. They are fucking annoying. But I know I gotta let them calm down a bit. It’s been a while since I’ve gauged I’m used to the soft silicon gauges. I almost want to go buy some in 0s… But I know they aren’t the best to gauge with. Mehh! Idk.

Right now

(Source: imgfave, via wheredemonsfeartotread)

The feeling of love and hate for somebody

Is back again.

I hate myself for hating you. But I hate you for making me hate you.

Well, I don’t really hate you… I’m just extremely hurt by your actions.

There really isn’t much to say but that I can be normal with you and then out of no where it comes back again.

I said I would give you another chance to prove yourself… But do I deserve to put myself through the three years I went through with my ex?

I can’t hold you accountable for all of the things that he did… But in knowing all of what I went through you hurt me 20 times worse.

I wish I knew how to deal with these feelings.

Sucking at life lately.

Sucking at everything actually. :/ fml.

I really hate you right now…

Why? It seems to be the only question and I can ask and it’s the only one I can’t get a straight answer to.

Why did you fuck this up for us? My trust in you is completely gone. You know how much lying and cheating I went through for 3 years with my ex. And how many times did you sit there and promise you would never do anything like that to me. That you would never hurt me. How many conversations did we have where I was bawling my eyes out so tore up with fear that this would happen again. And still, you told me you would never hurt me.

But you did.

This hurts more than anything. Thinking that you were different and telling myself I was so lucky to finally have a good guy that would never cheat or do anything to lose my trust.

I don’t know what to do. I feel like everything was a lie. I don’t want to give up on you… I want to give you another chance. I just don’t know if I can live through this again.

Thanks. It just fucking hurts. My ex cheated on me and lied to me pretty much everyday for 3 years. And going into this relationship he knew how much that fucked me up. I don’t know how many conversations we had with him assuring me that he would never ever do anything to hurt me. What a joke.

My world just fell apart…

I feel like my stomach is somewhere on the floor and I feel like I’m about to throw up.

I can’t believe you. You fucking cheated. And then let me wait for you for a whole year.

Awesome.

I wannntt thisss hoodieee!

(Source: cafun3, via justbeinglolo)

Yay!! I must meet her!

STRESSED THE FUCK OUT

I am so unbelievably overwhelmed I just want to crawl into the deep dark corners of my bed and never come out.

I feel like there is this weight over me that I just can’t shake. Within the next month the following things are going/have to happen:

• Homework, final projects, and a 5-8 page paper and study for finals.
• Finish this quarter at Ai.
• Get transcripts/records and apply/transfer to another school.
• BF comes home from his deployment.
• Pack and move my shit from my housing apartment.
• Move from Texas to Oklahoma.
• Find a place to live
• Take our new puppy to vet for shots, etc.
• Get a job.
• Figure out if I want to take a semester off from school to chill the fuck out.
• Take my ACT/SAT for the new school.
• Actually get accepted to the new school.
• Go on a diet and lose some weight.
• Go on post deployment cruise with BF and his buddies.
• Rush to Kansas for step sisters wedding. (the day after we get back to Miami from the cruise… Driving)
• Little sisters Graduation.
• Get ready to be a bridesmaid in best friend’s wedding.

Okay the last four are not within the next month but they are still stressful.

Not to mention helping my brother out (who just filed for divorce) as much as I can with baby sitting my nephews (2 and 4) when he is at work.

I want to bang my head against the walls while ripping my hair out.

Yeah, I’m pretty fucking stressed….

Words of encouragement? Anything? Please?

Okay…

I don’t know what it is… But it’s fucking creepy…

Soo, this has happened about 5 times now in the past month or two… And I don’t exactly know what to make of it… But late at night when I am laying in bed I’ll start to hear noises outside my window. I live in an apartment complex on the corner of a busy intersection, so a lot of the time I just hear cars go by at night…

But lately, I’ve been hearing dogs howling. Not like the ones that you hear that are clearly communicating to each other… These howls are different. They sound like pain and fear… Like someone is torturing them… But even then I don’t understand because it is multiple howls… All with the same eerie bark that sounds like torment.

But the thing that tops it off is that the howls started at 3:33 am this time… And only lasted for about a minute… I don’t know if any of you out there believe in anything beyond our lives… But this is just too creepy for me to dismiss as dogs barking at a cat.

Anyways. I’m not really sure what I was planning on getting out of this, but if any of you that may have read this who may have some kind of input on what may be going on just shoot me an ask. I’d love to hear your theory.

Ps. I know it’s not coyotes. I live in the city and grew up in the country knowing how coyotes sound.